9 to 5 (Open to heroes)

Participants: Evan McCulloch | Open Thread
Open/Closed: Open to heroes
Location(s): Central City Mall
Time of Day: Afternoon
Weather: Bright and cheery day
Summary: “Workin’ nine to five, what a way to make a livin’!” - Dolly Parton


The world is changing so fast. It’s a scary thing to think about, really. Change, you see is a very violent act. It rips apart old ideas and philosophies, supplanting people and things with often reckless abandon, replacing it all instead with something new and bizarre. The old can get lost forever in the wave of new, and that’s not always a good thing. In fact, the new tends to be a very destructive force, sometimes self destructive even. Cellular telephones, for example, just recently came about, connecting the whole world in a way which was unimaginable just a few decades ago. But it’s also made people awkward and emotionally distant... Perhaps even cold. Technically speaking, we are cyborgs now. Did you know that? These smartphones have become an extension of our consciousness, to the point where some cannot sustain themselves without it. With these fantastical devices straight out of pulp fiction, we can compute complex calculations in a seconds notice, discover new locations in half a second, and learn of people and places on the opposite hemisphere of the planet. Amazing, isn’t it? But also frightening. For many, this digital brain has turned our biological one into mush. Simple calculations like one hundred multiplied by one hundred, now take several seconds to process for the biological brain of many modern humans... The ability to communicate with face to face interaction has become a socially taxing endeavor for so many children. The world is changing, whether you like it or not......

There is no better analogy for change, than the American Mall. Allow me to transport us to a bygone era... Circa. Nineteen Eighty-Something, when and where all these fabulous commercial metroplexes began propping up. Mom and pop businesses were suddenly phasing away as the brutal penetrating effect of this change. They called it: The Death of Small Town America. An age coke-fueled yuppie stock brokers and mall-rat teenagers. It was amazing... Now we return to modern day, where the American Mall is experiencing that very same steady decline it caused to the mom and pop stores, for a new age of digital enterprise has gripped society. As the saying goes: “tragic irony? Or poetic justice? You tell me.” Change doesn’t care about the past, nor the present, nor the future, nor does it care about you or I. Just think, in the coming decades, those smartphones we all love so very much will go the way of the Buffalo, just like malls and the mom and pop businesses. Brain implants provided by major tech conglomerates will strike the world like an earthquake... Change will come again, as it always does. But change doesn’t always have to be so painful, if we people of Central City were to simply... Slow down a little, and not let change strike us so dramatically, then change won’t be so painful...

”Which is why I oppose this amendment to our state’s constitution...”

Ah, Congressmen. Evan did do loathe American politics (not that he enjoyed Scottish politics either). Bills and Hills and Dillweed politicians, all too much of a headache. But, this guy certainly made a few interesting points. Representative Tennant of... Whatever district or county this was. Honestly, if he wasn’t here to off the guy, McCulloch might have voted for him, just from this speech alone. But, Cobblepot and Thawne wanted to send a message. Sure, Tennant talked big, but at the end of the day? Just another goofball in bed with a few mobsters. It just so happens, they were mobsters who didn’t like the Penguin. There was a crowd gathered for the speech, a bright and hopeful day with clamoring supporters all gawking and chattering in front of the Central City Mall. Fancy place, actually... A big triangular roof with sleek neon lights and the words Synthfield Mall colored in flashing garish purple. There were kids and families attending... Which frankly sucked. Then at the center podium, there was the Congressman, with two armed security guards to his left and right, and two beneath his stage. Finally, there was Tennant’s wife and two kids. Killing the guy in front of his kids didn’t feel right... But then Evan remembered his childhood, and how a sad little boy with auburn hair could stare at the outside of his hometown mall, with not a penny to his name, unable to enter. Thinking of his surrogate mother, and the children under her care, hardened his resolve. ”I urge the Missouri House to rethink this proposal, the widespread corruption and economic turmoil which will come with the institution of this new casino will be detrimental to not just Central City... But the whole State of Missouri!”

Mirror Master was stationed on the rooftop of a neighboring building, quietly polishing the long cylindrical bullet of a sniper rifle. ”Nice an’ shiny... Jus’ the way we like ‘em...” He sneered to himself alone, his smile and the gap of his teeth reflected in the angles of the bullet. He leaned in to the edge of the rooftop, loading a sniper rifle and taking aim. ”Magic mirror on the wall...: Who’s the best marksman of ‘em all....?” His fingers danced around the trigger. The sights were set to the Congressman’s head. The head of the sniper veered just slightly to the right, and then.... ”Nighty-night, Tenney ol’ lad!”

B A N G ! ! !

The bullet whizzed above an open crowd, careening at the stage and towards the Congressman at terminal velocity. But the shiny bullet did not meet Tennant’s skull. The crowd ducked and shrieked at the sound, and the bullet swooshed behind Tennant, five faces of the Mirror Master reflected from the bullet at all angles, and from the bullet, those reflections leaped out. Five men jumping out of a tiny bullet which suddenly crashed into the wood of the stage. Each clone wore the exact same outfit, an orange zipup coat and pants with green shoulder pads, kneepads and bracers. They wore green boots and a green holster around his waist, each one with a duplicate mirror gun. They all wore green helmets, which were quite similar to Mirror Master’s usual hood, except with a glowing face visor which flickered and swirled I’m glowing hues of green and orange. Each clone was equipped with a knife, and all but one tackled a security guard. The knives held closely to the throats of each various guard. The final Mirror Master grabbed Tennant’s shoulder, and poked a knife very closely to his throat, but not yet killing the target in question. Instead, chuckling into the podium’s microphone.

”Mirror Master endorses Lex Luthor f’er President!”
He gave a cheeky thumbs up to the crowd with his knife wielding hand. Quite amused with himself over his dumb quip.

| Open Thread |

Derek James was stuck at a boring mall on a boring afternoon in boring Central City. Well, Central City wasn't all that boring in and of itself, it was the home to The Flash after all. That was the entire reason Derek had agreed to tag along with his dad on his business trip to Missouri. Of course his mom had been the one pushing the issues, she could always tell that there was room for Derek and his adoptive father's relationship to grow. Sure they loved each other like family members did, but the two barely spent time together and Derek was much more inclined to open up to and discuss things with his adoptive mom, Helen. When Helen found out her political journalist of a husband, David, was going to be flying out to Missouri for assignment she thought it the perfect time to create father-and-son bonding. Derek had initially been against the idea, he and his dad didn't do bonding time, but his mind was changed when he remembered the existence of the Flash Museum in Central City. He could put up with his dad's quiet reservedness and the mundanity of his dad's job if it meant he got to tour a superhero museum.

Alas, dreams were easily crushed. There was no visit to the Flash Museum, there was no father-son bonding. Only work.

Derek was slouched in a seat amidst the Congressperson's speech outside of an old rundown appearing mall. He had one hand stuffed in the pouch pocket of his seafood hoodie while his other hand held the iPhone that his face was currently buried in. Derek's dad sat at his left with some faceless person at his right. Derek had commented on the mall's retro gaudy look upon their arrival three hours ago and that had been the last words he spoke. He was present as the whole ordeal was set up; the erecting of the stage, the placement of chairs, and the arrival of media and supporters alike. Derek didn't really watch any of it though, there were messages he needed to read and respond to. All of the was boring to the teen, maybe it was important to some people but he definitely was not one of them, he didn't even pay attention to any of the worlds being delivered to the gathered crowd. 

All Derek wanted was a nice and exciting trip into the Flash's history at the Flash Museum, and he couldn't even get that. Was it being punished? It felt like it! While he typed away at his phone he sighed a very angsty-teen sigh.

---

Do you think my mom sent me here to punish me?

Your mom's too cool for that.

So you say.

So I do.

Besides, you're being a total baby. Bond with your Papa.

Papa? Ew.

Lol, B 👏 O 👏 N 👏 D! 👏

N 👏 O 👏 !

Baby!

No U

I hate you so much.

---

Derek tried to hide the fact that he was laughing at his text chain with Ernie but no one was really paying him any attention anyway. He closed the messaging app and opened one of the many games he had downloaded when he was on another trip with his dad at one point, a game that had only ever gotten played that once. While fending his camp from a horde Derek reluctantly reflected on the words his friend had texted him, was she and his mom right? Should he have been focusing on bonding with his dad?

They didn't have a strained relationship or anything and they didn't hate each other. What more bonding could they need? Derek glanced at his dad out of the corner of his eye, the redheaded man seemed utterly enthralled by what was being said by the speaker; but that was to be expected, it was his job after all. However, to Derek is just meant that the window for bonding was not open. His attention was once more sucked into his phone's screen. And then all hell broke loose.

A gunshot, that sounded like it was directly in Derek's ear, rang out and caused the teen to fumble his cell phone. Everyone immediately scattered and/or hit the floor. David threw an arm over Derek and Derek threw his arm over the backpack that had been strapped to the back of his chair that was knocked to the floor when his father protectively(?) tackled. Chaos was all around them in the form of shouts and feet stampeding over asphalt. When the men in orange jumpsuits popped up out of nowhere things went even crazier. Derek didn't want to look, and the people running to and fro made it pretty difficult to anyway, but he had to look ahead where the congressman was to see if the man had just been assassinated before their eyes. He could feel his lungs finally release the breath he had been holding since the first shot when he saw the speaker had not been hit by the shooter's bullet, in fact it didn't look like anyone had. Derek clutched his bag tighter as he allowed himself to be swept away from his dad in the rush of panicked people.

"Derek! DEREK!"

His dad's shouts for him filled Derek's ears as he made a quick change of costume, mentally apologizing for abandoning the man while also thanking Ernie for convincing him to take the Sideways suit along on the trip. Once changed into costume Sideways deposited the backpack into a rift and readied himself for the encounter that was soon to ensue.

A yellow incision cut itself into the world in the space before Representative Tennant's stage and out popped the masked hero. Sideways tried to assess the situation as quickly as he could and unfortunately it looked like Mirror Master held all the cards. Each member of Tennant's security was pinned by a Mirror Master with the apparent lead Mirror Master holding the Representative hostage himself. Sideways briefly contemplated opening rifts beneath each hostage but there was no guaranteeing Mirror Master wouldn't slip in with them plus he'd never tried making that many rifts at once. If it proved too much for him and any of the rifts closed before any of the hostages made it through then he would be doing more harm than good.

"I'd sooner vote for Kanye West," Sideways quipped with a healthy dose of attitude and posturing. Mirror Master hadn't done anything but cause a scene and take hostages so far, he must have wanted something. Sideways figured if he could just keep the man talking then maybe he'd have enough time to think of a game plan. Man, he really hoped it'd play out like that.

Evan McCulloch

Well that was fast... Even for Central City (home of the fastest man alive), not that he was complaining. Evan did so enjoy these romps with the capes. The ones he could win, that is. Penguin probably wouldn’t like this, but Evan simply couldn’t help himself. The rush of adrenaline and the magnanimous gaze of a million televised eyes were just so incomprehensibly riveting. The clones all exchanged smug and delightful glances whilst the center stage Mirror Master sneered over the shoulders of his human shield. Sparkling electric masks scanned the creature before them, and frankly? They were not all too impressed. A spunky little prick, all the ’tude and bravado of most upstart vigilante punks. Those types could get annoying at times (here’s looking at you, Kid Flash), but Evan would be lying if he said he didn’t moderately enjoy the verbal scrimmage which came with along with them. Perhaps it was ego blinding the reflective rogue, perhaps he was underestimating this new opponent, all the same Evan felt as though this would be a cakewalk. However, what was duly noted and perhaps should have been concerning, were the meta-human abilities displayed by the teen. That crackling yellow void certainly wasn’t a normal ability... Finally, what came was the quip, and it was not received well by Sideways’ new opponent. ”Oh my g’yod.” The absolute unsavory disgust in his voice seeped out like snake venom. His face turned away and his shoulders tensed up in a very visible cringe. ”#%$&en Gen Z... I mean, KANYE!? Really? #%$& off, will ye’? Ye’ fat-mouthed, daft little gremlin.” With an orange buck-knife pressed firmly, but not lethally, to the congressman’s throat, the Glasgow gangster leered down at his adversary from the podium above. Kids theses days. If you were going to cast a vote for a joke candidate, the least you could do is cast it for Vermin Supreme! Free ponies for all? Who wouldn’t be down for that!?

Politics were always a fickle thing; morally dubious candidates with questionable ideas catering to a whiny miserable voter base. It was all such a headache, with buzzwords like filibuster and electoral committee (both of which Evan had no idea the meaning of). McCulloch was a simple man, with simple wants, and this was a simple situation... No convoluted inner machinations of revenge or moral convictions of this or that political or economic stance. It was just a simple hit, with simple moral implications: Sideways-good, Orange-man-bad. Evan liked it this way. Speaking of morally dubious candidates... Tennant began squirming and writhing in Evan’s firm grip. ”Okay! Okay! Message received... Y-You can tell your boss he has my vote!” Mirror Master twisted a grin under his helmet, the clones all snickered to themselves and the seeming head honcho leered into the shifty politician’s side. “Oh, but Tenney ol’lad... I ain’t ‘ere t’ make ye’ chitter... E’ sent me t’ slit y’er #@$&en throat.” His wife held their children close, and the skin under Tennant’s eyes sunk a million feet. Horror trickled across his spine, and terror was riddled across his face. ”Oh-oh god! Please! Please!” A splash of humor trickled down Evan’s throat with a morbid chuckle, far too much pleasure garnished from this vile ordeal. “But? Y’might got a sportin’ chance...” The clones unanimously turned a glance towards Derek, almost mechanically like a hivemind. ”Got a name t’ go with tha’ spunk, lad? Giddy with anticipation, another of the clones chimed up. ”I smell me a rumble, boys!” The lead clone stood at the podium with Tennant, his visor suddenly far more vibrant and ostentatious than before. It flashed a psychedelic pulse of green and orange, waves of color washing across his helmet and flickering out five refractions into the air. Five beams of white flashing out from the helmet which soon dissipated within the autumnal breeze then materialized in the form of five humanoid forms. All Mirror Master, or some twisted shimmering reflections of him. Ten green boots stomped forwards, circling Derek with cruel anticipation. These were new clones, not the ones which pinned Tennant or the guards in place. Five pairs of green boots stood eager and ready for violence. An Evan to Derek’s right slammed a fist into the side of his own green helmet, from it there came a mechanical thunderous tune echoing out into the crowd of now mostly empty chairs.

Vs. Guzma - By Vetrom

This was his favorite part of the job.... Well, apart from payday that is. He always took some sick malign pleasure out of curb-stomping costumed teenagers, and this? This was gonna be fun. One clone cracked his neck and his knuckles. Another stood slightly haunched with his fists firmly to his side. A third one perched himself into an almost squatting position, a knife in hand and a psychotic delight echoed in his stance. A fourth crossed his arms stoically and a fifth bopped his head to the tune which reverberated from the fourth’s helmet. The rumble was initiated by the first clone charging at Sideways to try and tackle, and the second marching forwards to attempt throwing a punch.

| Derek James |

Costumed villains, that was something Derek was yet to fully get accustomed to. He'd had a run in here and there, mostly startups just like himself, but everything else was just random thugs and the like. This guy had powers, he was a self replicator and Derek wasn't versed enough in supervillains to know if this skimasked guy even had a limit to the number of clones he could produce. It looked like a bad situation, and it was, but Derek knew he couldn't let all of the negatives of the situation get to him if he was going to save the day. And if he couldn't focus on the negatives, what on earth was the positive? That these folks had Sideways to defend them! Mentally he tried to talk himself up and fortify his instincts against wishing a speedster would show. He had to go into this with the thought that there was no one coming to save him, he was the one doing the saving.

The villain called him out for being a Zoomer and Derek staggered, he wasn't sure why but that felt like a really low blow. Yeah, he could fire back and call him a Boomer but how lame would that be? "Hey! Did you even hear 808s & Heartbreak?!"

Good job, Derek, use your words while people's lives are at stake. It sucked being new to the hero game but Derek had loved and watched heroes for so much of his life, some of that stuff must have rubbed off - right? He tried to think, he needed a way to get the hostages clear of the hostage taker, and it had to be in a way that would be a degree less risky than what they were currently dealing with. Luckily for him, the guy who held onto the congressman was a real chatter box and he paused often to do god-knows-what! Maybe there was a channel he was using to communicate with his clones, Derek thought/hoped, something that could be targeted and disabled to help Sideways in the long run.

Almost all of that attitude had deflated out of the teen hero by now, he was letting himself be defeated before the fight even started all because he didn't immediately have the answer to the situation. Before Derek could reset his mind state and force a solution, the lead criminal on stage created more duplicates of himself, this time dropped them down to surround Sideways. The teen pivoted to keep an eye on all of them, but of course he couldn't watch 5 people at once. One of the clones then slapped himself in the head, making Sideways think these guys were even crazier than he originally thought, but that slipped away and transformed into puzzlement when music began to belt out of the clone's head.

"Did...did you just put on a soundtrack for our fight?" Damn, he hated to admit it but that was actually...pretty cool!

As cool as it was it also meant this guy wasn't taking Sideways seriously. He had never seen anyone fight Batman, or Superman, or the Flash with their own soundtrack playing to an asskicking. He knew it was because he was a teen, he was seen as out of his depth and in over his head - that meant Derek really needed to show this jerk how wrong he was.

Very little of Derek's training had been about fighting, but he was always pretty good at adapting on the fly, he was sure he could handle this! Sideways saw movement out of the corner of his eye and he quickly moved in the other direction to sidestep the clone aiming to tackle him. His sidestep brought him into closer range of the punch and it connected with an arm Derek threw up at the last minute. It stung down to the bone but at least it didn't catch him in the face like it was seeking to. Derek's eyes darted quickly between the lot of them, he zeroed in on the one who looked least prepared and threw a wild punch for the clone bobbing his head. Sideway's fist flew threw the air just barely missing the target. A yellow gash then tore through the air, Derek's fist plunging into it, and when his fist exited it was flying toward the back of the head of the clone who was armed with a knife.

Evan McCulloch

The rooftop sniper watched on in intrigue as the whole scene played out in the lens of his scope. Mirror Master and his clones were not quite a hive mind, but something similar. Like a colony of ants, each worker could think and act of its own accord so long as it was in the likeness of Evan McCulloch, but if the queen were to be eliminated then the drones would simply lose any semblance of sane and rational thought and soon parish. Remnants may still put up a desperate final offensive, but the colony would well and truly be crushed. All the same, the queen of these ants had a simple mission and little ambition to botch it up. Off the sleazeball congressman and make it big. Make it messy. Make sure the scene is garish and over the top. The Penguin wanted a show, you see. He wanted to make this little stunt as bombastic and wild as humanly possible and Evan was quick to deliver. Perhaps Cobblepot wanted a message to the other assemblymen? Or perhaps he just wanted to sit on his fat rear and enjoy the sort of reality tv one wouldn’t find on TMZ. McCulloch wasn’t one to ask questions, a jobs a job, and so far this one seemed fun. Therefore the music served a purpose, other than being a sick way to beat the tar out of an up-and-coming cape. ”I figure ye’ could listen t’ some real music f’er a change! None a’ tha’ naff rubbish ye’ jus’ mentioned!”

This cape in particular was a slippery little eel, he was quick and nimble on his feet and those portals made every attack wild and unpredictable. While annoying for the clones to deal with, it made the whole stunt all the more bombastic and epic. Perhaps Oswald would give him a raise for this? Charging ahead with arms spread, the first Mirror Master stampeded towards the hero. Derek’s quick sidestep cost the clone his tackle but left his sibling open to throw a punch. With a skid and a tumble, the first collided into pavement. The following strike from his brother met Derek’s arm in a swift block, and before the clone could even retaliate Sideways had sprinted off. A third Mirror Master innocently enjoyed the bellowing tune but soon found himself in Sideway’s line of fire. Derek had raced over and the Evan flinched, throwing two arms up to shield a punch which never came. Instead a yellow tear ripped through the space mere centimeters from his forearms and Derek’s fist flew out of an opposite portal, plowing into the nape of another Mirror Master. Like striking a wall of ceramic, the reflection shattered into a dozen crumbling shards which dissipated in the wind and left only the buck knife fallen in it’s place. Amidst the following skirmish, another of Evan’s likenesses sprinted towards the fallen blade, sliding past and snatching it for a follow up attack.

At first stunned to be remaining corporeal, the reflection which Derek had spared fell out of his daze and lunged towards the teen, attempting to coil around the hero and drag him down. Meanwhile, the bardic clone remained in the background throwing his fist to the air and cheering his siblings on as they continued the onslaught. The bard’s tune neither faltered nor failed, and amidst the wild guitar strums and bleating drum beats a different clone marched ahead, cupping two fists together attempting to strike down at Sideway’s spine. Following this, the final clone careened towards Derek slashing across the air in an attempt to cut through Derek.

”After I kick y’er arse ye’ can check out some ARTISTS! Y’know? People who make MUSIC not jus’ cuss an’ boke over some gommy beats! Green Day, Sabbath, Gun’s n’ Roses, educate y’erself ye’ wee nyaff!”
| Derek James |